Looking for courageous conviction and powerful biblical messages? I'm Victoria, and I write for Ignited Pennings; a newsletter that seeks to set the hearts of Christians on fire for the Lord. Sign up to get monthly to bi-monthly emails with faith-filled, Christ centered content for all ages.
Memo No. 9 – Preparation for Law Enforcement Career Journey Logbook by Victoria Julieann
Date: 3-2-26
21:00
Victoria J.
I looked up what my 1 mile and 1.5 mile run times are --
8:33 for 1 mile and 13:48 for 1.5 miles are considered excellent for my age.
So why don't I feel any better about myself than I did 6 months ago? This was my running goal; I thought once I reached it that I would at least feel a little validated.
But doubts and more excuses started clouding my mind, even with my wins. I can't do more than 18 pushups or 25 situps. I can't do more than 13 squat thrusts or half a pullup. I'm not 'fit' enough or look 'good' enough. In short, I'm not 'there' yet.
But the more I accomplish my goals, the more I realize that there is so much truth in the statement, "Once you're 'there', there really is no 'there'." There's no destination. There's no single pinnacle point where there's nothing to improve and no one can surpass you. There's no 'perfection' point. And there never will be because only God can be truly perfect. As long as we are on this earth, we cannot and will not be perfect.
The truth is, it's a question and an issue of humility. Are my doubts and frustrations coming from wants deep within me that are rooted in pride? At the end of the day, everyone wants to be loved – everyone needs an identity – where am I looking for mine?
Am I looking for fulfillment in accomplishment or victories? Am I seeking validation in what others think? Am I trying to set myself up to a standard that is not only unrealistic, but becomes sinful in the sense I begin chasing it as an idol?
To find the answers to these questions, I must dare to ask the hard questions – the things I know to be true about myself, but live in denial about them because at the core, I'm afraid and ashamed of the truth. Why do I avoid mirrors? Why do I beat myself up for even the tiniest of mistakes I make?
At the root of this is an issue of selfishness. Am I really doing all this because I'm chasing God's calling for me to become a police officer, or do I also do the things I do so I can find validation in what others think of me?
It is all vanity and endless pursuit – like Solomon put it in Ecclesiastes, it's like chasing the wind. There's no end.
I learn that it's foolishness to fully wrap up yourself in chasing such things and having the tendency to make your dreams as an idol; true identity is indeed only found in Christ alone.
The war zone is in my mind. Satan wants to throw me off course and to immobilize this soldier. And I must not let him win. I must resist his lies and whispers. I must flood my mind with truth and drown my heart in God's Word.
Help me, God. Keep me humble. Keep me focused. Keep me on Your path and saturated in Your truth and who You say I am. I cannot fight the enemy alone; give me strength. Give me direction, wisdom, courage, and help me to hear Your truth above the lies, no matter how loud they may become.
Help me to find and anchor my identity in You alone.
Be strong and courageous,
V.Jay
One big problem in the world today is the need to be enough.The need to 'measure up'. At the root of it is the identity factor. I wrote an article on this called Identity Crisis last month.
Everyone struggles, or has struggled with it. Finding validation in others' thoughts of you. Performing for love. Running the rat race in the name of hard work.
It's nothing but an endless cycle.
Here's why you'll never be enough;
You're measuring yourself by the wrong standards.
Have we ever questioned what we are measuring up to?
The world has set expectations for literally everything and anything. You look at yourself and compare your progress to others, inwardly wishing you could be where they are; wishing you could be 'there', because if you were 'there', then you'd be happy.
When in reality, that very person you're looking up to – they're more than likely looking up to someone else too. Or wishing they were 'there'. Discontent with where they are now.
And chances are, someone, somewhere, wants to be where you are now.
It's a perpetual race that pushes you, and sifts you, and eats you up until you're driven into the ground; paralyzed by the fear that you will never be enough.
Don't deny it; you've felt it too at one point. Even if you don't know it.
Solomon spoke about this in Ecclesiates.
ECC 1:1-8 KJV
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.
6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.
7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.
8 All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
Here's the truth:
There will always be someone ahead of you.
There will always be someone 'better' than you.
But here's the other side of that:
There will always be someone behind you.
And there will always be someone not as 'good' as you are.
But despite that, measuring our worth by comparison to others in the first place is foolishness at best and stupidity at worst.
After all, if the Lord God of heaven created you in His image,
Formed you. Crafted you. Gave you an assignment before you were born that no one else could do in the same way, and above all that; loves you so much He died for you,
What reason do we have to compare?
The fact is, we don't. Comparison is a distraction from Satan. An enticement to listen to the lies and doubts just enough so you're distracted and deterred from the real battle. The spiritual one.
Each day we wake up, each breath we breathe, is a chance to make war. A chance to fight for the Kingdom. To walk in the way before ordained for us by the Holy One.
What use is it comparing ourselves to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ when we fight on the same side?
Here's what the Bible has to say about comparison:
2 Corinthians 10:12
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
So what standard should we hold ourselves to?
If comparison to others is foolish, then what is the opposite of foolishness?
Wisdom.
And where is wisdom found? Where did the wise man from Matthew 7:24 build his house on?
A rock.
Solid. Immovable. Unwavering.
Jesus Christ is our Rock. Upon which we must build our house. Our heart. Our identity.
Steadfast. True. Holy.
Faithful. Just. Pure.
Loving. Kind. Forgiving.
Everything the human heart has ever desired.
Found in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Matthew 7:24
Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
Here's the punchline:
Stop trying to perform for others.
Stop running yourself into the ground.
Stop performing.
God didn't want a show.
He wanted a heart completely surrendered to Him.
He doesn't expect us to be perfect. After all, how can we?
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 3:23
Not "some".
Not "most".
All.
This is what comparison at it's core is.
It's the beginning of a life lived in performance.
A trap to ensnare you in lies that say you need to be enough.
It's time to stop running the rat race.
Time to step off the stage.
Time to flee from the spotlight.
Because friend, you were never meant to perform for God's love.
You were made to accept and receive it.
It's as simple as that.
Stop trying to be enough.
Start trusting He is enough for you.
On FIRE for the Lord,
Victoria
P.S.
My favorite author, Chuck Black, has just launched the Pre-Order Link for his eight book called Journey in his sci-fi series, The Starlore Legacy.
Chuck's allegorical prowess and his intricate craft have been proven in his medievel middle grade allegorical series Kingdom Series andit's sister series, Knights of Arrethtrae.
His demonstration of the reality of spiritual warfare and mastery of character development have been demonstrated in his Young Adult, CIA, FBI and military thirller trilogy, War of the Realms (my personal favorite).
But more recently, Chuck has reproven his experience in allegory and excersied a worldbuilding skill like no other in the Starlore Legacy. Like the Kingdom and Knight series, Starlore is an allegorical series of the entire Bible. Journey is the eigth book in this series, following the life of Paul. Here's the summary:
His life was a lie, but his destiny could lead to the truth that will save worlds.
Deceived by his own father and hated by those he imprisoned, Ledger flees a shattered past across the galaxy, seeking redemption and purpose. In the throes of galactic war, ancient Immortal enemies, and the rise of a ruthless empire, Ledger is thrust into a journey that challenges everything he believed.
Joined by his loyal friends and the resilient pilot Zara Lux, Ledger must confront his deepest wounds, face impossible odds, and embrace a calling that could ignite hope for every planet in the galaxy. Amidst forgiveness, love, and cosmic conflict, Ledger carries the fate of humanity.
Will he overcome the crushing guilt of his past and rise up a hero for the Merchant, or will the lord of Immortal darkness crush him?
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Looking for courageous conviction and powerful biblical messages? I'm Victoria, and I write for Ignited Pennings; a newsletter that seeks to set the hearts of Christians on fire for the Lord. Sign up to get monthly to bi-monthly emails with faith-filled, Christ centered content for all ages.
